Pokemon Cards: “I Choose You, Screamo Frontman”
By: Paul G. Atkinson IV
We all played Pokemon. Well all my friends did. I mean, it was fifth grade; Yo-Yos had just been banned from school – even during recess! – apparently someone had used one as a weapon, but anyway I digress, basically: we needed a new fad, and it became Pokemon.
Everyone I new became addicted, completely consumed by the Pokemon culture: not just by the cards, but by the television show, the videogames, and some even by the cheap t-shirts and Ash Ketchum imitation hats.
Eventually the fad died.
Breaking News: every fad dies. I was luckily enough to cash out early, selling my holographic Charizard for $80 a few weeks before we all found another fire to throw our allowance money into. It might have been WWF action figures.
High school came next and fads became more fashion based and I stopped paying attention to most anything but girls that were out of my league and blink-182 records.
There was not a chance in hell of me getting any girls, so I spent time getting more records, expanding from blink-182 to other pop punk bands: New Found Glory, Sum 41 ect… eventually horrible shit like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan popped up and I moved to the “emo” explosion. I became completely consumed watching television shows on FUSE, buying literal tons of band merch, sporting the tightest jeans ect…
(time passes)
Recently I had an epiphany. An old friend from the days of Pokemon flew down from CT to go to Warped Tour here in FL. We caught up on this and that and moved to discuss the massive pile of bands that are on Warped 2008 this summer.
Talk of bands with music nerds always almost moves to talk of “The Scene.”
“Hey you get the new Alesana album?” Trev might have said.
“Yeah, the screams are getting a little too high pitched, blah, blah, blah…” I might have said.
Anyway, my epiphany was: emo, screamo, whatever-core bands are my new Pokemon cards.
When my buddies and I played with Pokemon cards it started as a competition of collection. Buy. Buy. Buy.
Eventually all our decks had become massive. We had moved from starter packs, to the randomized collections wrapped in foil: hoping to find something rare and elusive. By the time we all had collections big enough for 300 page plastic sleeved binders we realized we could trade with each other.
No more wasted time where we got yet another useless Pikachu card when what we really wanted was a holographic [insert bizarre stupid name here].
All of our collections were of equal quality, so letting a few generic doubles go for the opportunity to grab some new and powerful card was quite the rush.
One big problem eventually arose: we all wanted the same cards. We were all striving for the same perfect line-up to man the front lines of our Pokemon armies.
The next problem was one that no of us expected: we all got what we wanted. When this happened we all got bored and gave it up.
(time passes)
When I got into emo, it was all a competition of collecting the most obscure and unheard of bands. Buy. Buy. Buy.
My record collection became more and more massive. I moved from a 20 Gigabyte iPod to a 40 GB, then the 80 GB came out and just when I filled that one up Apple unveiled the 160 GB!
I started with pop-punk tinged emo like Taking Back Sunday and early Brand New, next was something with a little more attitude, bands with equal parts of singing and screaming mixed in: Dead Poetic and Story of the Year. Then it was a push for more angst, more screaming: only a hefty dose of double bass drum would satisfy my needs, urges, cravings.
Once my collection began to include genres as obscure as Electronic Grindcore, Progressive Emo Core, and [insert bizarre stupid name here] the trading phase came into play. Though, this time around, there was a catch:
No one would trade information about the obscure gems of bands in their treasure troves. No one would give up bands in the line-up of their perfect playlist. Just like Pokemon cards people would only trade doubles.
If you liked Hit The Lights someone might divulge information to turn you on to All Time Low. If you liked Underoath someone might let it slip that you’d certainly enjoy Chiodos. Cute Is What We Aim For fans might be led to listen to The Maine. But that was about it. Bands that had waded into the waters of MTVs radar would be traded for similar bands of the like.
Then a bizarre phenomenon started to happen: the bands started to trade with each other.
All the bands wanted the same sound. They were all striving for the same perfect line-up to get them signed to some trendy label like Rise Records or maybe even an imprint of a Major (which didn’t count as selling out because even though a band might end up signed under somebody like Warner Bros, that company’s logo wouldn’t appear on their CD sleeve).
So frontmen became the new holographic cards.
For example, Dance Gavin Dance kicked frontman and “clean” vocalist Jonny Craig out of the band. The band said that he was a self destructive drug addict, but I read between the lines of that myspace bulletin: Craig was just too bombastic – so DGD grabbed Kurt Travis, the frontman from Five Minute Ride for a more straight forward voice.
Meanwhile, Emarosa’s frontman, Chris Roetter quit to start a Christian Chaotic Metalcore band. Emarosa grabbed Craig’s bombastic voice so they could have less bombastic instrumentation. And when the band’s new album “Relativity” came out, surprise: Craig’s voice was more bombastic than ever while the band’s instrumentation was basically dumbed down background music.
The trading got out of control.
While Escape The Fate’s frontman, Ronnie Radke was on the run from the cops (he basically murdered a guy in gang fight) ETF grabbed blessthefall’s Craig Mabbitt.
From First To Last’s Sonny Moore went solo and stole away Drop Dead, Gorgeous’s keyboardist to create stupid Electronica music. FFTL was left with Matt Good, their backup vocalist/guitarist as their frontman (who did a surprisingly good job on their next record).
Sky Eats Airplane lost their clean vocalist Brack Cantrell, who was 50% of the two piece act. But Lee Duck, the remaining member, grabbed the members of (In Theory) (who recently had their frontman quit) as a backing band and then auditioned for a new frontman for awhile until finally finding Jerry Roush.
Saosin’s frontman, Anthony Green*, quit the band to form Circa Survive. Then Green joined up with the frontman of Chiodos: Craig Owens, and combined with the frontman of Rx Bandits, Matt Embree, to form the frontman supergroup: The Sound Of Animals Fighting. Then Green went on to put out a solo album under his own name while Owens released a solo album under the name Cinematic Sunrise.
*Green had previously spent time fronting Audience Of One, High And Driving, and Jeer At Rome before his endeavor with Saosin.
The Early November’s frontman, Ace Enders, released a solo album under the name: I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody’s Business, and I guess he really liked it because shortly after he quit the band to release music under his own name. Jeff Krumer, the band’s drummer, went to become the frontman of Grace Period, who changed their name to Your Sweet Uncertainty and also started some solo work while guitarist Joe Marro went solo with Joseph Marro and the Hum Drum.
As Cites Burn Lost their frontman, and much like FFTL, their guitarist/back-up vocalist had to step up to frontman duties. Say Anthing frontman Max Bemis joined up with Saves The Day frontman Chris Conely to create Two Tongues. Alexisonfire went on a hiatus while frontman Dallas Green started releasing solo albums under the name City & Colour. One of the stupidest things to happen during this trading game was when As I Lay Dying’s frontman, Tim Lambesis, released an Arnold Swarchenegger themed solo album, though I think it was supposed to be ironic, making fun of how stupid solo albums can be.
Since all the bands, like all my friends binders of Pokemon cards, were essentially the same, all the changing really had no effect on any of the bands’ musical output.
Emo started with promise, just as punk did, but originality is running low these days.
(time: the present)
Now I’m sitting here, still stoked for Warped mind you, but wondering if this whole “Scene” is just going to be remembered as a passing fad.
Should I cash out early like I did with Pokemon? Should I try to sell my limited to 100 pressings special colorway “Blowing Chunks” 7” EP by Evergreen Terrace that has two unreleased b-sides (songs I’m yet to even find circulating on the internet) while it still might be worth something? Should I burn my tight pants, eBay all the band merch and signed posters, yell every obscure bands’ name from the top of a mountain for all to know, and cut my hair so I can see out of both my eyes?
I do not have a clue. This is why I’m so distressed.
I’m probably just going to go down with the ship, hang on, burn out on the chariot of fire, and pick up the pieces after “The Scene” has hit rock bottom.
Though, if you find yourself in this same predicament I’m fairly certain that it is not too late for you too save yourself.
